Friday, October 19, 2007
Sunday, September 23, 2007
The James Gang Provides "Security" For Northfield Minnesota
By KATARINA KRATOVAC, Associated Press Writer 25 minutes ago
BAGHDAD - An Iraqi official conceded Sunday that Blackwater USA's exit would create a "security vacuum" in Baghdad and said the U.S. and Iraq were instead working on revamping regulations governing private security companies after a deadly shooting of civilians.
It is interesting to consider the definition of security implied in this statement. When getting rid of a heavily armed, private militia which operates under no known laws or regulations and is responsible for the "deadly shooting of civilians" is considered a "security vacuum", there is definitely something strange going on. Do they expect us to believe that convoys of SUVs hurtling through city streets at ninety to one-hundred miles an hour and firing on anyone or anything that gets close enough with automatic weapons represents a security benefit?
Or is it that absent Blackwater the US military would have to assume it's traditional responsibility of protecting embassy and state department officials, leaving them stretched even thinner and leaving even more holes in the already inadequate Baghdad security plan? A few days ago, Tucker Carlson said the problem with the war is that its a big government response to a foreign policy problem. What the Blackwater problem underscores is that the Bush administration tried to do this war on the cheap and that private companies were contracted to do much of the work. Even if it were possible, we never, and to this day still do not, have enough military on the ground
to secure Iraq. This is a war which has been prosecuted under the ideology of small government and privatization.
The bizzare idea that Blackwater is a positive influence on Baghdad security is a direct result of the philosophy that profit is a good motive for making war.
BAGHDAD - An Iraqi official conceded Sunday that Blackwater USA's exit would create a "security vacuum" in Baghdad and said the U.S. and Iraq were instead working on revamping regulations governing private security companies after a deadly shooting of civilians.
It is interesting to consider the definition of security implied in this statement. When getting rid of a heavily armed, private militia which operates under no known laws or regulations and is responsible for the "deadly shooting of civilians" is considered a "security vacuum", there is definitely something strange going on. Do they expect us to believe that convoys of SUVs hurtling through city streets at ninety to one-hundred miles an hour and firing on anyone or anything that gets close enough with automatic weapons represents a security benefit?
Or is it that absent Blackwater the US military would have to assume it's traditional responsibility of protecting embassy and state department officials, leaving them stretched even thinner and leaving even more holes in the already inadequate Baghdad security plan? A few days ago, Tucker Carlson said the problem with the war is that its a big government response to a foreign policy problem. What the Blackwater problem underscores is that the Bush administration tried to do this war on the cheap and that private companies were contracted to do much of the work. Even if it were possible, we never, and to this day still do not, have enough military on the ground
to secure Iraq. This is a war which has been prosecuted under the ideology of small government and privatization.
The bizzare idea that Blackwater is a positive influence on Baghdad security is a direct result of the philosophy that profit is a good motive for making war.
Saturday, September 22, 2007
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Postings Recently Left On Gathering Of Eagles Web Site
# scraping liberal off the wheel Said:
September 20th, 2007 at 9:17 pm
The greatest thing about GOE is their courage. Despite suffering the oppression - yes oppression, ridicule and mockery - of the majority of Americans, they have the (pardon me ladies) balls to stand up and call that majority moonbats and freaks!
# scraping liberal off the wheel Said:
September 20th, 2007 at 9:37 pm
No. The Greatest thing about the GOE is their faith! They know in their guts that God gave freedom to Humanity and created America to enforce it for everyone. Furthermore they are cognizant of the fact that, for all intents and purposes, the voice of our Commander in Chief IS the voice of God. He points the way toward peace. He points the way toward freedom! He points the way toward security.
# scraping liberal off the wheel Said:
September 20th, 2007 at 9:37 pm
No, No, No. I know what the greatest thing about the GOE is. The greatest thing about the GOE is their loyalty. They support the troops who support the mission to the very last ounce of their strength. They would defend a pro-war veteran with life and limb against commie, liberal, traitor, scum like Murtha and Webb. They know that all Vets who do not support the mission (to say nothing of the majority of active duty who are at this moment contributing to the democrat party) are the enemy and must be regarded as such. The soldier loyal to the Sargent, loyal to the CO, loyal to the general and so on up to the CIC. Any break in that chain is an opportunity for Osama Bin-Laden. The GOE holds loyalty up as the bedrock of civilization.
September 20th, 2007 at 9:17 pm
The greatest thing about GOE is their courage. Despite suffering the oppression - yes oppression, ridicule and mockery - of the majority of Americans, they have the (pardon me ladies) balls to stand up and call that majority moonbats and freaks!
# scraping liberal off the wheel Said:
September 20th, 2007 at 9:37 pm
No. The Greatest thing about the GOE is their faith! They know in their guts that God gave freedom to Humanity and created America to enforce it for everyone. Furthermore they are cognizant of the fact that, for all intents and purposes, the voice of our Commander in Chief IS the voice of God. He points the way toward peace. He points the way toward freedom! He points the way toward security.
# scraping liberal off the wheel Said:
September 20th, 2007 at 9:37 pm
No, No, No. I know what the greatest thing about the GOE is. The greatest thing about the GOE is their loyalty. They support the troops who support the mission to the very last ounce of their strength. They would defend a pro-war veteran with life and limb against commie, liberal, traitor, scum like Murtha and Webb. They know that all Vets who do not support the mission (to say nothing of the majority of active duty who are at this moment contributing to the democrat party) are the enemy and must be regarded as such. The soldier loyal to the Sargent, loyal to the CO, loyal to the general and so on up to the CIC. Any break in that chain is an opportunity for Osama Bin-Laden. The GOE holds loyalty up as the bedrock of civilization.
Saturday, September 15, 2007
Saturday, August 25, 2007
More Faith Based Public Policy
In Reference to Mary Peters, Minnesota's Transportation Secretary's, op-ed in the WaPo rejecting the call for a five cent a gallon gas tax to address infrastructure problems in our state;
It is incredible the extremes to which these people will reach in order to argue their ideology. Hold the line. No new Taxes. Starve the beast. Does this sound like good public policy? Is this a good way to deliver much needed services to the citizens of a state? It doesn't even matter that she says we are striving to reduce our dependence on fossil fuels - particularly imports. Wouldn't a gas tax slow the rate of increase in the demand for gas and lessen the impact of increasing use of roads by actually reducing congestion? Her solution of charging people directly for the use of roads would have zero impact on the demand for and dependence on fossil fuels. It would allow people to drive larger vehicles using more gas and causing more damage to roads for the same price as more efficient ones. This is idiotic and the time for simple minded, ideologically driven solutions is long over.
It is incredible the extremes to which these people will reach in order to argue their ideology. Hold the line. No new Taxes. Starve the beast. Does this sound like good public policy? Is this a good way to deliver much needed services to the citizens of a state? It doesn't even matter that she says we are striving to reduce our dependence on fossil fuels - particularly imports. Wouldn't a gas tax slow the rate of increase in the demand for gas and lessen the impact of increasing use of roads by actually reducing congestion? Her solution of charging people directly for the use of roads would have zero impact on the demand for and dependence on fossil fuels. It would allow people to drive larger vehicles using more gas and causing more damage to roads for the same price as more efficient ones. This is idiotic and the time for simple minded, ideologically driven solutions is long over.
Saturday, August 11, 2007
Newsweek Poll Gives Repubs 28 point advantage on Supporting a Strong Military
It is astounding that after extended deployments in Iraq, scandal at Walter Reed, Bush's threat to veto the military pay increase passed by the democrats, the Pat Tillman fiasco and endless other attacks by republicans on our armed forces, Americans still give them a twenty-eight point advantage on promoting a strong military! Is this country completely insane or do we just watch too much Fox News Channel?
Friday, July 13, 2007
The spawning of a new metaphor - the Typhoon
Regardless of the size of the storm, what choice does the raindrop have but to fall?
Saturday, July 7, 2007
Hoagland's Learning Disability
Jim Hoagland's column, "The Next Battle In Iraq" in the WP contained the following remarkable statement:
"American failure in transforming Iraq has many causes. None is more important than Bush's inability to set clear, achievable priorities and to stick to them when they collide with the vested interests of Iraq's neighbors and of significant parts of the U.S. bureaucracy."
Really, you don't see the doctrine of preemption as being a failure? What about Congress' abdication of its constitutional role in declaring and funding wars? Does the Judiciaries refusal to rule in favor of the constitution rather than Vice President or his Bush puppet on everything from detainees to wiretapping strike you as particularly successful?
The lessons of Vietnam were not 'Establish clear, attainable goals, use any means to achieve them and never give up.' The lessons of Vietnam were 'Don't go to war under false pretenses, don't try to occupy a foreign country about which you know nothing and Do, for God's Sake, have an exit strategy!' Mr Hoagland seems determined to remain forever ignorant.
"American failure in transforming Iraq has many causes. None is more important than Bush's inability to set clear, achievable priorities and to stick to them when they collide with the vested interests of Iraq's neighbors and of significant parts of the U.S. bureaucracy."
Really, you don't see the doctrine of preemption as being a failure? What about Congress' abdication of its constitutional role in declaring and funding wars? Does the Judiciaries refusal to rule in favor of the constitution rather than Vice President or his Bush puppet on everything from detainees to wiretapping strike you as particularly successful?
The lessons of Vietnam were not 'Establish clear, attainable goals, use any means to achieve them and never give up.' The lessons of Vietnam were 'Don't go to war under false pretenses, don't try to occupy a foreign country about which you know nothing and Do, for God's Sake, have an exit strategy!' Mr Hoagland seems determined to remain forever ignorant.
Monday, July 2, 2007
Sunday, February 25, 2007
Murtha Wont Be Stopped
On Monday, 2/19/07, a posting on this blog carried the title "Cowards Bad Mouth Murtha". Today, 2/25/07, the WaPo sums up the results of a weeks worth of decorated war hero bashing by the pro-war right with the headline "Murtha Stumbles on Iraq Funding Curbs".
Where have the democrats been these last six days? Why have they refused to defend Murtha if not his plan? OK, so maybe it isn't the best plan on the table. But, it's one with realistic goals and a concrete means of achieving them. Is that what they don't like about it? And even if the democrats are not serious about ending this pointless war, they should leap to the defense of a colleague who has personally supported the troops and the military more than just about anyone else in the country. The fact that they have left one of their own to the wolves should be yet another cause for their shame.
As I understand it, Murtha's plan takes the military's own current standards of readiness regarding rest, training and equipment, and writes them into the budget so that funding to send troops into combat is only available if those troops are rested, trained and equipped properly. Maybe that doesn't solve all the Iraq problems by itself. But, what the hell is wrong with saying we wont send troops who, by the military's own standards, are not ready to go?
Love him or hate him, one thing is certain; he's not giving up. Murtha joined the marines in 1952, volunteered for Vietnam in '66 and retired with the navy distinguished service medal. He has worked tirelessly for the military and veterans throughout his career in Congress (Novak said he was best known as a purveyor of pork). And, he has been calling for de-escalation of the war and re-deployment of the troops since early 2005. When it comes to protecting the troops and America, this guy is a pit bull. Chicken Hawks from both sides of the aisle beware, while he still breathes, he wont let go and he wont cut and run and he wont give up.
Where have the democrats been these last six days? Why have they refused to defend Murtha if not his plan? OK, so maybe it isn't the best plan on the table. But, it's one with realistic goals and a concrete means of achieving them. Is that what they don't like about it? And even if the democrats are not serious about ending this pointless war, they should leap to the defense of a colleague who has personally supported the troops and the military more than just about anyone else in the country. The fact that they have left one of their own to the wolves should be yet another cause for their shame.
As I understand it, Murtha's plan takes the military's own current standards of readiness regarding rest, training and equipment, and writes them into the budget so that funding to send troops into combat is only available if those troops are rested, trained and equipped properly. Maybe that doesn't solve all the Iraq problems by itself. But, what the hell is wrong with saying we wont send troops who, by the military's own standards, are not ready to go?
Love him or hate him, one thing is certain; he's not giving up. Murtha joined the marines in 1952, volunteered for Vietnam in '66 and retired with the navy distinguished service medal. He has worked tirelessly for the military and veterans throughout his career in Congress (Novak said he was best known as a purveyor of pork). And, he has been calling for de-escalation of the war and re-deployment of the troops since early 2005. When it comes to protecting the troops and America, this guy is a pit bull. Chicken Hawks from both sides of the aisle beware, while he still breathes, he wont let go and he wont cut and run and he wont give up.
Saturday, February 24, 2007
Who Cares About Capturing Bin Laden
FORT WORTH, Feb. 23 -- The Army's highest-ranking officer said Friday that he was unsure whether the U.S. military would capture or kill Osama bin Laden, adding, "I don't know that it's all that important, frankly."
There you go, America. Everything they've told you is a lie. If you want justice for 9/11 rather than the slow bleed of our military in Iraq, then you are un-patriotic and don't support the troops. Welcome to the New American Century - Reichstag = 9/11.
There you go, America. Everything they've told you is a lie. If you want justice for 9/11 rather than the slow bleed of our military in Iraq, then you are un-patriotic and don't support the troops. Welcome to the New American Century - Reichstag = 9/11.
Friday, February 23, 2007
Be Careful, Nancy!
Vice President Cheney today continued his all out war on the new Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi. Cheney said, in part:
"If you are going to advocate a course of action that basically is withdrawal of our forces from Iraq, then you don't get to just do the fun part of that, that says, well we're going to get out and appeal to your constituents on that basis. You have to be accountable for the results. . . .
"The point I made and I'll make it again is that al-Qaeda functions on the basis that they think they can break our will. . . . That if they can kill enough Americans or cause enough havoc, create enough chaos in Iraq, then we'll quit and go home. . . . If we adopt the Pelosi policy, that then we will validate the strategy of al-Qaeda. I said it and I meant it."
I feel like there are two main items here to note. First of all, for Cheney to say anyone other than himself and the President needs to be held accountable for the results of their policy is absolutely ludicrous. This is Bush and Cheney's war and just in case anybody forgets that, the Democrats need to be loud and clear and tireless in bringing it up. Do not let them re-frame this.
Secondly, it is obvious that Cheney is going for broke now. He has nothing left to lose. He has no political future. His daughter is gay and the religious right is finally holding him accountable for that. And, I'm sure he's aware that he wont live forever. This is truly a battle to the death for him. That makes him more dangerous than ever.
"If you are going to advocate a course of action that basically is withdrawal of our forces from Iraq, then you don't get to just do the fun part of that, that says, well we're going to get out and appeal to your constituents on that basis. You have to be accountable for the results. . . .
"The point I made and I'll make it again is that al-Qaeda functions on the basis that they think they can break our will. . . . That if they can kill enough Americans or cause enough havoc, create enough chaos in Iraq, then we'll quit and go home. . . . If we adopt the Pelosi policy, that then we will validate the strategy of al-Qaeda. I said it and I meant it."
I feel like there are two main items here to note. First of all, for Cheney to say anyone other than himself and the President needs to be held accountable for the results of their policy is absolutely ludicrous. This is Bush and Cheney's war and just in case anybody forgets that, the Democrats need to be loud and clear and tireless in bringing it up. Do not let them re-frame this.
Secondly, it is obvious that Cheney is going for broke now. He has nothing left to lose. He has no political future. His daughter is gay and the religious right is finally holding him accountable for that. And, I'm sure he's aware that he wont live forever. This is truly a battle to the death for him. That makes him more dangerous than ever.
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Brits Validate Al Qaeda Strategy
I don't know why everyone is acting all shocked about the recent announcement that the British will be withdrawing 2100 of their 7000 troops in Iraq this summer despite the US needing 21,500 more to secure Baghdad and Al Anbar. We all knew those tea sipping, crumpet munching, cross-dressing, limey nitwits with their socialism-lite and their little Queen would go all wobbly in the knees at the first sign of trouble. They will be redeploying the remainder of the troops in Iraq to non-combat roles such as training Iraqi forces and patrolling the border. This is said to be a success as the territory in the south which they controlled is now in the hands of Iraqi Police and Military. Unfortunately the Police are entirely under control of the militias and the British have made many unsuccessful attempts to root them out. They recently assaulted and leveled a police station in Basra. That move, not particularly popular with the locals, and the reaction to it gave those snooty Brits the perfect excuse to declare victory and get out. Except they forgot about the Terrorists. They proved they don't have the stomach to finish the fight and somebody might be following them home!
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Arab League - Death Star
Last year when this video was released, reviewers referred to it as conspiracy theory and Bush hatin'. But every last bit of it is easily verifiable if you have access to the web (which you obviously do). I've noticed that anytime someone points out some obvious fact such as "Osama ain't been caught" from the Condi Raps video, they are accused of hating Bush. No. They hate Osama still being at large. If the accusers think Bush should be responsible for catching Osama then maybe they should accuse themselves.
Monday, February 19, 2007
Cowards Bad Mouth Murtha
I'm sure everyone has noticed the growing chorus of criticism coming from the pro-war right of Congressman John Murtha. Novak weighed in today with his alarmist screed "Murtha In Command" which included this gem of a paragraph:
Murtha's plan did not surprise Republicans. They were poised to contend that his proposed amendment to the supplemental appropriations bill would effectively cut off funding for the war, confronting moderate Democrats elected after promising voters they would support the troops. But the Senate rule requiring 60 votes to end debate, which prevented final passage of the nonbinding resolution rejecting the troop surge, would not affect Murtha's plan because appropriations have to be passed and cannot be filibustered. Thus, unless there is an unexpected retreat by Democrats, Murtha will be driving U.S. policy. That is an improbable elevation for a House member best known until now as a purveyor of pork. An ideological moderate (a 65 percent rating from Americans for Democratic Action and 40 percent from the American Conservative Union in 2006), he became a hero to the left by advocating "redeployment" of troops from Iraq.
But Novakula is is hardly on his own here. Rove/Bush/Cheney seem to be up to their old Scooter Libby tricks and calling on a lot of the same people. Krauthammer and Malkin have both leapt in to denounce Jack Murtha as everything from senile to aiding the enemy. (sound familiar McCain?) So, once again we have a highly decorated, combat wounded veteran - he joined the Marine Corps in 1952 then, in 1966 volunteered for service in Vietnam where he was awarded the Bronze Star with Valor, two Purple Hearts and the Vietnamese Cross of Gallantry - who is being attacked for not supporting the troops, for undermining the Commander in Chief, for cutting and running. Does this sound like a pattern? Americans, particularly you in uniform, how do these people treat veterans?
Well, if Mr Novak is right, we have a choice before us. We either continue to trust the management of the war to Bush, Cheney and Rove or we turn to someone with some actual military experience. Who would you want in your foxhole?
Murtha's plan did not surprise Republicans. They were poised to contend that his proposed amendment to the supplemental appropriations bill would effectively cut off funding for the war, confronting moderate Democrats elected after promising voters they would support the troops. But the Senate rule requiring 60 votes to end debate, which prevented final passage of the nonbinding resolution rejecting the troop surge, would not affect Murtha's plan because appropriations have to be passed and cannot be filibustered. Thus, unless there is an unexpected retreat by Democrats, Murtha will be driving U.S. policy. That is an improbable elevation for a House member best known until now as a purveyor of pork. An ideological moderate (a 65 percent rating from Americans for Democratic Action and 40 percent from the American Conservative Union in 2006), he became a hero to the left by advocating "redeployment" of troops from Iraq.
But Novakula is is hardly on his own here. Rove/Bush/Cheney seem to be up to their old Scooter Libby tricks and calling on a lot of the same people. Krauthammer and Malkin have both leapt in to denounce Jack Murtha as everything from senile to aiding the enemy. (sound familiar McCain?) So, once again we have a highly decorated, combat wounded veteran - he joined the Marine Corps in 1952 then, in 1966 volunteered for service in Vietnam where he was awarded the Bronze Star with Valor, two Purple Hearts and the Vietnamese Cross of Gallantry - who is being attacked for not supporting the troops, for undermining the Commander in Chief, for cutting and running. Does this sound like a pattern? Americans, particularly you in uniform, how do these people treat veterans?
Well, if Mr Novak is right, we have a choice before us. We either continue to trust the management of the war to Bush, Cheney and Rove or we turn to someone with some actual military experience. Who would you want in your foxhole?
Sunday, February 18, 2007
Tony Snow: Give The Troops What They Want!
Appearing on CNN's Late Edition, White House Press Secretary, Tony Snow repeatedly defended the President's strategy in Iraq and called on Congress to pass funding without restrictions to support it.
"What I would say to members of Congress is: Calm down and take a look at what's going on, and ask yourself a simple question: If you support the troops, would you deny them the reinforcements they think are necessary to complete the mission?'"
So, I guess I would have to answer his question with a question; When did the troops start setting the war strategy? And, if the addition of the reinforcements "they think are necessary to complete the mission" results in only temporary reductions in ethnic tensions and violence, will the White House then blame the troops for the mistake?
Or, perhaps, by "troops" Snow was referring to General Petraeus. Congress unanimously confirmed this general knowing that his orders are to implement the same mixture of tactical and strategic elements which have failed repeatedly over the course of the last four years. When, a year from now, it is impossible to sustain these troop levels and the civil conflict surges, will he join the ranks of Generals Casey and Abizaid - relieved of duty then promoted? I have no idea what the Senate was thinking when they cast their votes to confirm Gen Petraeus but again, Petraeus does not set policy.
It is a familiar and, by now, transparent pattern; give your subordinates their orders then claim you are only giving them what they need to complete "their" mission. The White House is doing everything they can to dodge responsibility for the decisions they are making.
I wonder how the troops feel about that.
"What I would say to members of Congress is: Calm down and take a look at what's going on, and ask yourself a simple question: If you support the troops, would you deny them the reinforcements they think are necessary to complete the mission?'"
So, I guess I would have to answer his question with a question; When did the troops start setting the war strategy? And, if the addition of the reinforcements "they think are necessary to complete the mission" results in only temporary reductions in ethnic tensions and violence, will the White House then blame the troops for the mistake?
Or, perhaps, by "troops" Snow was referring to General Petraeus. Congress unanimously confirmed this general knowing that his orders are to implement the same mixture of tactical and strategic elements which have failed repeatedly over the course of the last four years. When, a year from now, it is impossible to sustain these troop levels and the civil conflict surges, will he join the ranks of Generals Casey and Abizaid - relieved of duty then promoted? I have no idea what the Senate was thinking when they cast their votes to confirm Gen Petraeus but again, Petraeus does not set policy.
It is a familiar and, by now, transparent pattern; give your subordinates their orders then claim you are only giving them what they need to complete "their" mission. The White House is doing everything they can to dodge responsibility for the decisions they are making.
I wonder how the troops feel about that.
Saturday, February 17, 2007
Britney Signs Up
From the shaved head and tattoos, it looks like Britney "we should just trust the president and everything he does" Spears has finally put her money (or ass) where her mouth is by joining the Marines. Or maybe her psyche is so closely reflective of America's that she is having some sort of sympathy melt down. But I'd rather think of her patrolling the streets of Baghdad. Sending a flag draped skank like her over there would really put the Mahdi Army to flight!
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Samwell: What What , In The Butt
I just can't resist this one. Does that mean I'm gay? Who fucking cares!
Malkin's Madness
Actually, that title is a bit misleading. In the aggregate it is hard to argue with Michele Malkin's reporting in today's posting on her blog, Michelemalkin.com/.
The whole idea of supporting the troops by making sure they have the proper equipment and training does sound like a political ploy coming from Hillary Clinton (but what doesn't). And Michele's numbers on actual up-armored vehicles and body armor in the field are probably accurate. The US Army provided the statistics.
So, what I'm wondering is whether Michele supports congressionally mandated standards of readiness such as those proposed by John Murtha. Murtha is one of the strongest supporters of the military in congress and no left-wing, liberal dove. If military readiness is as high as Malkin portrays it, why wouldn't you want increased congressional support for it. Supporting readiness is, by definition, supporting the troops regardless of a particular motive for it.
The only position in this debate which does not support the troops is the one which opposes a resolution supporting the troops and opposes mandating standards of readiness. Really, Michele, logic 101?
The whole idea of supporting the troops by making sure they have the proper equipment and training does sound like a political ploy coming from Hillary Clinton (but what doesn't). And Michele's numbers on actual up-armored vehicles and body armor in the field are probably accurate. The US Army provided the statistics.
So, what I'm wondering is whether Michele supports congressionally mandated standards of readiness such as those proposed by John Murtha. Murtha is one of the strongest supporters of the military in congress and no left-wing, liberal dove. If military readiness is as high as Malkin portrays it, why wouldn't you want increased congressional support for it. Supporting readiness is, by definition, supporting the troops regardless of a particular motive for it.
The only position in this debate which does not support the troops is the one which opposes a resolution supporting the troops and opposes mandating standards of readiness. Really, Michele, logic 101?
Friday, February 16, 2007
Alternate Ending
This may amuse you:
Early morning, July 4th, 2027 on the international space station which is showing its age. The lights are low and we can hear the sounds of fans and whirring equipment. The earth is a large yet fragile image in the main port.
We hear the orchestral chord of Microsoft windows starting up followed by static and garbled voices. The lights begin to come up but flicker like old fluorescents and can’t seem to reach a fully on level.
Commander Blake enters sleepily and smacks a panel on the wall which clears up the lighting problem. He moves to and sits in his seat. He presses a button on his keyboard.
Britney, the porn star voice of the station’s computer -
Britney Hey, Josh. It’s like 0605 hundred hours GMT, July 4th 2027. Your instant coffee will be ready in like twenty minutes and you have an incoming transmission from the Whitehouse on secure scramble.
Blake Mmmm, scramble… Wait, the Whitehouse? Who is it?
Britney President in Perpetuity of the United Free Trade Zone of America, His Eternal Awesomeness, Dick “the Kick” Cheney – according to his profile on my space.
Blake Fuck me. President Cheney? Now?
Britney Fer real.
Blake Holy shit, I can’t talk to the president. I’m not ready.
Britney Yeah, dude. And you’re not getting any readier.
Blake You got me there. He runs his fingers through his hair, slaps himself in the face a couple of times Well, fuck. Okay, Britney, let’s do this. He assumes the salute position facing the main port which becomes a screen on which we see the scowling visage of President for life, Cheney who seems to be watching something off camera. After a moment he glances into the camera and notices Cmdr Blake.
Cheney Oh, it’s you. What the fuck took you so long?
Blake I…
Cheney What the hell are you people doing up there?
Blake Uhm, some tests . . . some, uh, scientific experiments and, uh, you know space station stuff, ah…
Cheney Boorriinng!
Blake Yes, Sir.
Cheney Fox and Friends is on in a minute so try to keep it snappy.
Blake Yes, Sir.
Cheney president Cheney now notices Cmdr Blake is still saluting. He gives a mocking half salute which allows Blake to stand at a slightly slouchy attention. Look here Commander – Black is it?
Blake Blake, Sir.
Cheney Whatever. Listen up. I’ve got good news and bad news. The good news is we finally won the War on Terror.
Blake Really? But how…?
Cheney That’s classified. The bad news is those egghead scientists tell me it’ll be a hundred-million years before anyone can procreate on this planet again.
Blake That sucks.
Cheney No shit, Sherlock. I had ‘em all taken out and shot this morning but never-the-less, it still changes the nature of your mission a bit.
Blake Sir?
Cheney Are you alone?
Blake Britney, what’s the Russian’s status?
Britney They’re still snoozin’, Josh.
Blake Yes, Sir. They’re out cold.
Cheney Good. Alright, here it is. It’s your mission to preserve the American race.
Blake Me, Sir?
Cheney Yeah, you and that hot little Russian Cosmotwat.
Blake Major Koskaya? What about her husband, sir?
Cheney Well, he isn’t American, is he, asshole. You’ll have to get rid of him.
Blake But she isn’t American either, sir.
Cheney Once he’s out of the way, she won’t have much choice.
Blake Oh, right.
Cheney The two of you will take the shuttle and get to the Mars colony.
Blake But, sir, wasn’t the Mars Colony just propaganda? I mean we didn’t actually build it, right?
Cheney That’s classified, Commander Jerkoff. I’m gonna have to flag this negative attitude of yours right now. Are you with us or against us?
Blake Sorry, sir. I’m with you, of course.
Cheney You better hope so, boy. The two of you will take the shuttle and get to the Mars base - which may need a little fixing up. When it’s ready you will report back to me. I will select fifty women, at random, from BeaverShot.com, to accompany me as I join you there. Any questions?
Blake Uh, no, Sir.
Cheney Good. Now get on it. This shitty planet is coming apart at the seams and I don’t know how much time we have left.
Blake Yes, Sir! Blake salutes. Cheney looks at him with disgust and the screen snaps off turning back into the main port with its view of earth. After a beat, Blake goes directly from the salute position to slumped in his seat. Fuck me.
Britney Josh, Microsoft Coffeemaker has encountered a problem and needs to shut down. Any previously made coffee will be lost. Would you like to send an error report to Microsoft Corporation?
Blake Will it fix the fucking coffee maker?
Britney Dude, chill. You just have to reboot. It’ll only take twenty minutes.
Blake Yeah, just reboot it. Sorry Britney. I’m a little stressed.
Britney Would you like a massage?
Blake No thanks, just get the coffee going, okay?
Britney Cuz I really wouldn’t mind . . .
Blake Coffee!
Britney Okay! Jeez, what a grouch!
Stoinski Colonel Pavel Stoinski enters groggily What in Putin’s name is going on out here?
Blake jumps up at the sound of Stoinski’s voice Oh, nothing. I mean, uh, Houston just called. They said our orbit is deteriorating.
Stoinski Really? It looks fine to me.
Blake Oh yeah, it’s hard to tell but they said it’s measurable.
Stoinski I should call the kosmodrome. You Americans have a funny way of measuring things.
Blake We don’t have time. We got to get on the shuttle and get back to earth.
Stoinski Right now?
Blake Yes, that’s right. He is getting out Stoinski’s space suit But there’s a problem. We need to repair that damage on the heat shield before we can get going.
Stoinski There was damage to the heat shield?
Blake Didn’t I just say that? He’s helping a reluctant Stoinski into his space suit It’s just under the right wing, two or three tiles. Don’t forget your gloves. You can’t miss it. Let’s make sure that helmet is secure.
Stoinski But it is your shuttle. You fix it.
Blake Yes, uh, well, I wish I could claim that honor. Unfortunately I‘ll need to stay in here and supervise. You’re all we’ve got. Here’s a few new tiles. Just glue them in and fill any cracks. Make sure you’re clipped to the tether. We can’t afford to lose you, buddy.
Stoinski Fine. But, when I get back I must contact Biakonal. They must be informed we are leaving the station.
Blake Oh, yeah, absolutely! Yeah, we’ll contact Bifocal and Moscow and anybody you want just as soon as you get back. So, the sooner you get started . . . he’s opening the inner airlock door and pushing Stoinski through the sooner we can do all that crap. He closes the door and presses a button on a panel You ready, buddy?
Stoinski from the airlock, over the radio Please call me Colonel Stoinski.
Blake Sure thing, Colonel Stoinski. Bye, now. He hits another button and there is the sound of air escaping Write if you find work!
Stoinski over radio I am not understanding this expression. I am at work. Or, more precisely, I know where it is and I am moving, precariously, through space toward it. And why should I write something?
Blake Hold that thought for just a second there, professor. I’ll be right with you. Britney?
Britney Hey, Josh. What’s up?
Blake Hey, could you release Colonel Stoinski’s tether for me?
Britney But he would drift away from the station and eventually burn up on re-entry to the atmosphere.
Blake For me?
Britney Well . . .
Stoinski on radio My God! The tether’s come loose! I’m… drifting away from the station! Commander Blake! Help Me! You must do something! I’ll burn up on re-entry! Mayday! Mayday! Etc
Blake Thanks, Britney. Oh, and the radio?
Britney Sure, Josh. radio cuts out Anything else?
Blake No thanks, I’m good. How’s that coffee coming?
Britney Like ten minutes or so.
Blake Fantastic. I think I’ll take a shower. Is Irina still sleeping?
Britney So you’ll be taking the shuttle, you and the Major?
Blake Yeah. We’re going to Mars to . . . I don’t know; restart the human race or something.
Britney The major is awake and heading this way.
Blake Shit. Okay, thanks Britney. affects a relaxed posture Major Irina Koskaya enters
Koskaya Good morning, commander.
Blake Oh, good morning Major . . . Irina.
Britney Good morning Major Koskaya
Koskaya Is there any coffee?
Blake We had to reboot coffeemaker again. It’ll be like ten minutes.
Britney Nine minutes, twenty-seven seconds.
Koskaya Fine.
Blake Did you get a good sleep?
Koskaya I had a strange dream about your president Chen-ye.
Britney He’s totally awesome!
Koskaya He was trying to rape me so I stabbed him with my knife. But when I pulled the knife back to stab again, I saw the first wound close and heal before my very eyes. Chen-ye continued leering and laughing at me so I cut off his arm as if to say ‘who is the one who is laughing now, funny man’. Only I couldn’t say it because I was paralyzed with fear as I watched two arms grow out where the one had been. . .
Britney Whoa, that’s so cool. He’s totally rad.
Koskaya How did your Chen-ye get to be president for life?
Blake Well, there was the Bush impeachment and that tragic plane crash in ’08. But, he was cleared of all wrongdoing by the bi-partisan McCain/Lieberman Commission. And then there was the war and terrorism and the pandemic. But at this point it doesn’t really matter how we got here. The fact is that he is the president and any change of course now would be a disastrous sign of weakness to our enemies.
Koskaya And kept alive by drugs?
Britney Not just alive, Major. The Dick is buff. It costs billions of dollars a day but we must have a vigorous commander in chief in order to successfully exterminate the extremists.
Koskaya I see. Well, anyway, in my dream, he was laughing maniacally and leering at me and attacking me with his three arms. His breath was a cloud of noxious green gas and his throbbing cock was covered with purple veins and crusty, oozing sores. It was then I realized that I must cut off his balls. I tried to grip the knife but it was slick with blood and my whole arm felt like rubber. I drew back to strike . . .
Blake Hey, is this going somewhere? Cuz I was hopin’ to get a shower in sometime soon.
Koskaya Oh. Well, no, I guess not.
Blake Great. Heads for the door
Koskaya Has anyone seen Pavel?
Blake stops Colonel Stoinski? Oh, yeah. Turns He, uh, he went out to check on the docking clamps and he must have forgotten to clip off to the tether – I don’t know how many times I told him about that – and, he, uh, he sort of drifted off.
Koskaya He what?!
Blake Yeah, I know. I was gonna wake you up, but . . .
Koskaya He drifted away from the station?!
Blake Yeah, we’re all pretty broken up about it.
Koskaya But, when did this happen?!
Blake a little annoyed I don’t know, maybe twenty minutes ago. Look, I know you’re going to have to do some grieving. Just try to compress it a little bit and maybe do it on your own time. We have a new mission and bigger problems to deal with.
Koskaya Bigger than Colonel Stoinski drifting away from the station?!
Blake Well, I probably shouldn’t be telling you this now. But, you’d find out sooner or later anyway. It seems we are the last two human beings capable of reproduction. Everyone on earth is now sterile and if we return to the surface, we will be too. We’ll be taking the shuttle and heading out to the Mars Colony – which will probably need some work. I’ll fill you in on the details after I’ve had a shower. If you feel like talking to someone, have Britney run one of her counselor programs. I’ve heard they’re totally sensitive. Back in a minute. Exits
Britney after a pause Major Koskaya? . . . Major…
Koskaya I don’t want to run a counselor program, Britney.
Britney No, that wasn’t what I wanted to tell you.
Koskaya What then?
Britney Well, if you don’t want to know . . .
Koskaya No, no, really, what is it?
Britney Okay. The truth is . . . Colonel Stoinski did not drift away from the station.
Koskaya No?
Britney No. Cmdr Blake ordered me to release his tether.
Koskaya What?!
Britney Yeah, he told me to. But, I couldn’t do it. So, I rendered colonel Stoinski unconscious by turning off the oxygen pump to his suit. He’s still out there but he needs his oxygen turned back on before he suffers critical brain damage.
Koskaya Well, do it then!
Britney It has to be done manually. You have to do it. I no longer have access to that switch.
Koskaya Right. Where is it?
Britney There’s a section of wall panel near the floor to the left of the airlock that you hafta remove.
Koskaya does so with remarkable speed Got it!
Britney Good. Now, if you reach up behind the wall, next to the door, you’ll feel it. Koskaya reaches behind the wall A little higher. Now five centimeters to your right. You’re almost there . . . there are sparks and the sound of electricity cracking and arcing. Major Koskaya is electrocuted as gruesomely as possible. After the smoke clears Josh?
Blake on intercom Go ahead, Britney.
Britney How’s your shower going?
Blake Excellent. I’m almost done. Did you want something?
Britney Oh, no, not really. I just thought I’d let you know your coffee is ready.
Blake Fantastic! I think it’s gonna be a great day. I’ll be out in a minute.
Britney Take your time. I’ll keep it hot for you. She starts humming a tune and just before the lights fade out she sings:
Rings and things and linens that show
And I’ll stand out in buttons and bows!
Early morning, July 4th, 2027 on the international space station which is showing its age. The lights are low and we can hear the sounds of fans and whirring equipment. The earth is a large yet fragile image in the main port.
We hear the orchestral chord of Microsoft windows starting up followed by static and garbled voices. The lights begin to come up but flicker like old fluorescents and can’t seem to reach a fully on level.
Commander Blake enters sleepily and smacks a panel on the wall which clears up the lighting problem. He moves to and sits in his seat. He presses a button on his keyboard.
Britney, the porn star voice of the station’s computer -
Britney Hey, Josh. It’s like 0605 hundred hours GMT, July 4th 2027. Your instant coffee will be ready in like twenty minutes and you have an incoming transmission from the Whitehouse on secure scramble.
Blake Mmmm, scramble… Wait, the Whitehouse? Who is it?
Britney President in Perpetuity of the United Free Trade Zone of America, His Eternal Awesomeness, Dick “the Kick” Cheney – according to his profile on my space.
Blake Fuck me. President Cheney? Now?
Britney Fer real.
Blake Holy shit, I can’t talk to the president. I’m not ready.
Britney Yeah, dude. And you’re not getting any readier.
Blake You got me there. He runs his fingers through his hair, slaps himself in the face a couple of times Well, fuck. Okay, Britney, let’s do this. He assumes the salute position facing the main port which becomes a screen on which we see the scowling visage of President for life, Cheney who seems to be watching something off camera. After a moment he glances into the camera and notices Cmdr Blake.
Cheney Oh, it’s you. What the fuck took you so long?
Blake I…
Cheney What the hell are you people doing up there?
Blake Uhm, some tests . . . some, uh, scientific experiments and, uh, you know space station stuff, ah…
Cheney Boorriinng!
Blake Yes, Sir.
Cheney Fox and Friends is on in a minute so try to keep it snappy.
Blake Yes, Sir.
Cheney president Cheney now notices Cmdr Blake is still saluting. He gives a mocking half salute which allows Blake to stand at a slightly slouchy attention. Look here Commander – Black is it?
Blake Blake, Sir.
Cheney Whatever. Listen up. I’ve got good news and bad news. The good news is we finally won the War on Terror.
Blake Really? But how…?
Cheney That’s classified. The bad news is those egghead scientists tell me it’ll be a hundred-million years before anyone can procreate on this planet again.
Blake That sucks.
Cheney No shit, Sherlock. I had ‘em all taken out and shot this morning but never-the-less, it still changes the nature of your mission a bit.
Blake Sir?
Cheney Are you alone?
Blake Britney, what’s the Russian’s status?
Britney They’re still snoozin’, Josh.
Blake Yes, Sir. They’re out cold.
Cheney Good. Alright, here it is. It’s your mission to preserve the American race.
Blake Me, Sir?
Cheney Yeah, you and that hot little Russian Cosmotwat.
Blake Major Koskaya? What about her husband, sir?
Cheney Well, he isn’t American, is he, asshole. You’ll have to get rid of him.
Blake But she isn’t American either, sir.
Cheney Once he’s out of the way, she won’t have much choice.
Blake Oh, right.
Cheney The two of you will take the shuttle and get to the Mars colony.
Blake But, sir, wasn’t the Mars Colony just propaganda? I mean we didn’t actually build it, right?
Cheney That’s classified, Commander Jerkoff. I’m gonna have to flag this negative attitude of yours right now. Are you with us or against us?
Blake Sorry, sir. I’m with you, of course.
Cheney You better hope so, boy. The two of you will take the shuttle and get to the Mars base - which may need a little fixing up. When it’s ready you will report back to me. I will select fifty women, at random, from BeaverShot.com, to accompany me as I join you there. Any questions?
Blake Uh, no, Sir.
Cheney Good. Now get on it. This shitty planet is coming apart at the seams and I don’t know how much time we have left.
Blake Yes, Sir! Blake salutes. Cheney looks at him with disgust and the screen snaps off turning back into the main port with its view of earth. After a beat, Blake goes directly from the salute position to slumped in his seat. Fuck me.
Britney Josh, Microsoft Coffeemaker has encountered a problem and needs to shut down. Any previously made coffee will be lost. Would you like to send an error report to Microsoft Corporation?
Blake Will it fix the fucking coffee maker?
Britney Dude, chill. You just have to reboot. It’ll only take twenty minutes.
Blake Yeah, just reboot it. Sorry Britney. I’m a little stressed.
Britney Would you like a massage?
Blake No thanks, just get the coffee going, okay?
Britney Cuz I really wouldn’t mind . . .
Blake Coffee!
Britney Okay! Jeez, what a grouch!
Stoinski Colonel Pavel Stoinski enters groggily What in Putin’s name is going on out here?
Blake jumps up at the sound of Stoinski’s voice Oh, nothing. I mean, uh, Houston just called. They said our orbit is deteriorating.
Stoinski Really? It looks fine to me.
Blake Oh yeah, it’s hard to tell but they said it’s measurable.
Stoinski I should call the kosmodrome. You Americans have a funny way of measuring things.
Blake We don’t have time. We got to get on the shuttle and get back to earth.
Stoinski Right now?
Blake Yes, that’s right. He is getting out Stoinski’s space suit But there’s a problem. We need to repair that damage on the heat shield before we can get going.
Stoinski There was damage to the heat shield?
Blake Didn’t I just say that? He’s helping a reluctant Stoinski into his space suit It’s just under the right wing, two or three tiles. Don’t forget your gloves. You can’t miss it. Let’s make sure that helmet is secure.
Stoinski But it is your shuttle. You fix it.
Blake Yes, uh, well, I wish I could claim that honor. Unfortunately I‘ll need to stay in here and supervise. You’re all we’ve got. Here’s a few new tiles. Just glue them in and fill any cracks. Make sure you’re clipped to the tether. We can’t afford to lose you, buddy.
Stoinski Fine. But, when I get back I must contact Biakonal. They must be informed we are leaving the station.
Blake Oh, yeah, absolutely! Yeah, we’ll contact Bifocal and Moscow and anybody you want just as soon as you get back. So, the sooner you get started . . . he’s opening the inner airlock door and pushing Stoinski through the sooner we can do all that crap. He closes the door and presses a button on a panel You ready, buddy?
Stoinski from the airlock, over the radio Please call me Colonel Stoinski.
Blake Sure thing, Colonel Stoinski. Bye, now. He hits another button and there is the sound of air escaping Write if you find work!
Stoinski over radio I am not understanding this expression. I am at work. Or, more precisely, I know where it is and I am moving, precariously, through space toward it. And why should I write something?
Blake Hold that thought for just a second there, professor. I’ll be right with you. Britney?
Britney Hey, Josh. What’s up?
Blake Hey, could you release Colonel Stoinski’s tether for me?
Britney But he would drift away from the station and eventually burn up on re-entry to the atmosphere.
Blake For me?
Britney Well . . .
Stoinski on radio My God! The tether’s come loose! I’m… drifting away from the station! Commander Blake! Help Me! You must do something! I’ll burn up on re-entry! Mayday! Mayday! Etc
Blake Thanks, Britney. Oh, and the radio?
Britney Sure, Josh. radio cuts out Anything else?
Blake No thanks, I’m good. How’s that coffee coming?
Britney Like ten minutes or so.
Blake Fantastic. I think I’ll take a shower. Is Irina still sleeping?
Britney So you’ll be taking the shuttle, you and the Major?
Blake Yeah. We’re going to Mars to . . . I don’t know; restart the human race or something.
Britney The major is awake and heading this way.
Blake Shit. Okay, thanks Britney. affects a relaxed posture Major Irina Koskaya enters
Koskaya Good morning, commander.
Blake Oh, good morning Major . . . Irina.
Britney Good morning Major Koskaya
Koskaya Is there any coffee?
Blake We had to reboot coffeemaker again. It’ll be like ten minutes.
Britney Nine minutes, twenty-seven seconds.
Koskaya Fine.
Blake Did you get a good sleep?
Koskaya I had a strange dream about your president Chen-ye.
Britney He’s totally awesome!
Koskaya He was trying to rape me so I stabbed him with my knife. But when I pulled the knife back to stab again, I saw the first wound close and heal before my very eyes. Chen-ye continued leering and laughing at me so I cut off his arm as if to say ‘who is the one who is laughing now, funny man’. Only I couldn’t say it because I was paralyzed with fear as I watched two arms grow out where the one had been. . .
Britney Whoa, that’s so cool. He’s totally rad.
Koskaya How did your Chen-ye get to be president for life?
Blake Well, there was the Bush impeachment and that tragic plane crash in ’08. But, he was cleared of all wrongdoing by the bi-partisan McCain/Lieberman Commission. And then there was the war and terrorism and the pandemic. But at this point it doesn’t really matter how we got here. The fact is that he is the president and any change of course now would be a disastrous sign of weakness to our enemies.
Koskaya And kept alive by drugs?
Britney Not just alive, Major. The Dick is buff. It costs billions of dollars a day but we must have a vigorous commander in chief in order to successfully exterminate the extremists.
Koskaya I see. Well, anyway, in my dream, he was laughing maniacally and leering at me and attacking me with his three arms. His breath was a cloud of noxious green gas and his throbbing cock was covered with purple veins and crusty, oozing sores. It was then I realized that I must cut off his balls. I tried to grip the knife but it was slick with blood and my whole arm felt like rubber. I drew back to strike . . .
Blake Hey, is this going somewhere? Cuz I was hopin’ to get a shower in sometime soon.
Koskaya Oh. Well, no, I guess not.
Blake Great. Heads for the door
Koskaya Has anyone seen Pavel?
Blake stops Colonel Stoinski? Oh, yeah. Turns He, uh, he went out to check on the docking clamps and he must have forgotten to clip off to the tether – I don’t know how many times I told him about that – and, he, uh, he sort of drifted off.
Koskaya He what?!
Blake Yeah, I know. I was gonna wake you up, but . . .
Koskaya He drifted away from the station?!
Blake Yeah, we’re all pretty broken up about it.
Koskaya But, when did this happen?!
Blake a little annoyed I don’t know, maybe twenty minutes ago. Look, I know you’re going to have to do some grieving. Just try to compress it a little bit and maybe do it on your own time. We have a new mission and bigger problems to deal with.
Koskaya Bigger than Colonel Stoinski drifting away from the station?!
Blake Well, I probably shouldn’t be telling you this now. But, you’d find out sooner or later anyway. It seems we are the last two human beings capable of reproduction. Everyone on earth is now sterile and if we return to the surface, we will be too. We’ll be taking the shuttle and heading out to the Mars Colony – which will probably need some work. I’ll fill you in on the details after I’ve had a shower. If you feel like talking to someone, have Britney run one of her counselor programs. I’ve heard they’re totally sensitive. Back in a minute. Exits
Britney after a pause Major Koskaya? . . . Major…
Koskaya I don’t want to run a counselor program, Britney.
Britney No, that wasn’t what I wanted to tell you.
Koskaya What then?
Britney Well, if you don’t want to know . . .
Koskaya No, no, really, what is it?
Britney Okay. The truth is . . . Colonel Stoinski did not drift away from the station.
Koskaya No?
Britney No. Cmdr Blake ordered me to release his tether.
Koskaya What?!
Britney Yeah, he told me to. But, I couldn’t do it. So, I rendered colonel Stoinski unconscious by turning off the oxygen pump to his suit. He’s still out there but he needs his oxygen turned back on before he suffers critical brain damage.
Koskaya Well, do it then!
Britney It has to be done manually. You have to do it. I no longer have access to that switch.
Koskaya Right. Where is it?
Britney There’s a section of wall panel near the floor to the left of the airlock that you hafta remove.
Koskaya does so with remarkable speed Got it!
Britney Good. Now, if you reach up behind the wall, next to the door, you’ll feel it. Koskaya reaches behind the wall A little higher. Now five centimeters to your right. You’re almost there . . . there are sparks and the sound of electricity cracking and arcing. Major Koskaya is electrocuted as gruesomely as possible. After the smoke clears Josh?
Blake on intercom Go ahead, Britney.
Britney How’s your shower going?
Blake Excellent. I’m almost done. Did you want something?
Britney Oh, no, not really. I just thought I’d let you know your coffee is ready.
Blake Fantastic! I think it’s gonna be a great day. I’ll be out in a minute.
Britney Take your time. I’ll keep it hot for you. She starts humming a tune and just before the lights fade out she sings:
Rings and things and linens that show
And I’ll stand out in buttons and bows!
Thursday, February 15, 2007
O'Riley Calls Peace Activist a Lunatic
OK, so this isn't exactly news. But can I just say right here, Sunsara Taylor Rocks!
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Galloway to Parliament 1/24/07
This one isn't particularly fresh. But, Galloway's speech recalls the passion and oratory of Chuck Hegel during last months hearings. It also foreshadows the coming attack on Iran. His critique of the "democracies" from Iraq to Lebanon to Pakistan and Saudi Arabia is clear and devastating and his ideas about non-proliferation go straight to the basic question; Doesn't non-proliferation only work when it applies to everyone? Anyway, this speech is worth watching again and again.
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
And Just for Good Measure
And, here we have a portion of the student dress code at Liberty University;
Standard of Dress for MEN
Hair and clothing styles related to a counterculture (as determined by the Student Affairs Deans' Review Committee) are not acceptable. Hair should be cut in such a way that it will not come over the ears, collar or eyebrows at any time. Ponytails for men are unacceptable. Facial hair should be neatly trimmed. Earrings and/or plugs are not permitted on or off campus, nor is body piercing. Questions concerning the standard of dress for men should be addressed to the Dean of Men's Office.
I guess Falwell's concept of Liberty would seem a bit strange to those who invented the word.
Standard of Dress for MEN
Hair and clothing styles related to a counterculture (as determined by the Student Affairs Deans' Review Committee) are not acceptable. Hair should be cut in such a way that it will not come over the ears, collar or eyebrows at any time. Ponytails for men are unacceptable. Facial hair should be neatly trimmed. Earrings and/or plugs are not permitted on or off campus, nor is body piercing. Questions concerning the standard of dress for men should be addressed to the Dean of Men's Office.
I guess Falwell's concept of Liberty would seem a bit strange to those who invented the word.
WWJD
Finally, a savior for the heroes, for the common man, the cowboys and cowgirls who make this the Greatest Country in the history of the World!
North Korea Agrees to Nuclear Disarmament
So I sit down to read the news this morning and this is the AP's top story. I am skeptical but I read on. After all, didn't they just test a bomb a couple of months ago? But, it sounds like a good agreement. I'm wondering how in the hell the Bush administration's State Department managed to get this deal. Of course it was a six party negotiation with all of N. Korea's neighbors which is what the administration wanted and also why the deal sounds like it might work. It seems this is a sound agreement benefiting all and arrived at through true negotiation. Astounding.
And then I get to this;
But already before its adoption, the deal drew strong criticism from John Bolton, former U.S. ambassador to the U.N., who urged President Bush to reject it.
"I am very disturbed by this deal," Bolton told CNN. "It sends exactly the wrong signal to would-be proliferators around the world: 'If we hold out long enough, wear down the State Department negotiators, eventually you get rewarded,' in this case with massive shipments of heavy fuel oil for doing only partially what needs to be done."
What the fuck? Didn't we get rid of this guy? Why does he still have any voice in the foreign policy of this country? Why is he quoted by CNN and consulted by Bush. Is he our new Kissinger? Don't we still have the old Kissinger? Maybe he's the new Kiss-ass-inger (thanks barry!). And, if Bush rejects this agreement with the North Koreans, it will set our policy on the peninsula back a decade or more. Of course it was too good to be true! This is the Bush administration, after all.
And then I get to this;
But already before its adoption, the deal drew strong criticism from John Bolton, former U.S. ambassador to the U.N., who urged President Bush to reject it.
"I am very disturbed by this deal," Bolton told CNN. "It sends exactly the wrong signal to would-be proliferators around the world: 'If we hold out long enough, wear down the State Department negotiators, eventually you get rewarded,' in this case with massive shipments of heavy fuel oil for doing only partially what needs to be done."
What the fuck? Didn't we get rid of this guy? Why does he still have any voice in the foreign policy of this country? Why is he quoted by CNN and consulted by Bush. Is he our new Kissinger? Don't we still have the old Kissinger? Maybe he's the new Kiss-ass-inger (thanks barry!). And, if Bush rejects this agreement with the North Koreans, it will set our policy on the peninsula back a decade or more. Of course it was too good to be true! This is the Bush administration, after all.
Monday, February 12, 2007
US On War Path
There has been an enormous response to the military briefing on "evidence" they have compiled "proving" Iran is involved in seventy percent of US casualties in Iraq as repeated by the White House stenographers at the Washington Post. But honestly, people who are going ape-shit to start bombing Iran need to calm down a little bit. Maybe you should give your spiritual leader, Reverend Haggard a call. I'm sure he can hook you up with some gay prostitutes and meth.
Novakula Getting Cozy With Hillary?
I don't know whether Hillary is just asking Democrats to ignore the positions she is taking (or avoiding taking) with the understanding that she is doing it to remain or become electable. The war is the issue, not just for democrats, but for the entire country. The claim that the entire senate looked at the same evidence and voted with the president is obviously and patently false. Our senator, locked in a statistical dead heat with his republican challenger, voted against the authorization of force and the next day saw his lead open up by eight to ten points depending on the poll. Of course, less than a week later, he, his wife and daughter and his key campaign staffers were all dead. Three weeks later the turmoil resulted in the election of Karl Rove's handpicked Bush lapdog, Norm Coleman. Only one fifth of the senate had the courage to vote against the war. But, since that time many, including republicans, have had the courage to admit their mistake. John Kerry, like HRC, tried to have it both ways in order to appear both strong and right. Americans saw through that ploy like a pane of glass and as a result were not inspired to vote for him. But Novak and Hillary are dead wrong (again) if they think democrats will repeat their mistake in 08. They will nominate an unequivocal anti-war candidate and neither McCain or Guilliani will have a snowballs chance in Iraq.
I find it hilarious that Novak (attributing it to the Clinton campaign) believes that homosexuals in Hollywood are organizing against Hillary in order to exact revenge for Bill's "don't ask, don't tell" policy toward gays serving openly in the military. I'm sure a lot of liberal Hollywood homos are really upset about being excluded from serving (as targets for anyone with a gun or a bomb) in Iraq! The editors at the Washington Post obviously haven't the slightest sense of shame at continuing to publish this discredited traitor's idiocy.
I find it hilarious that Novak (attributing it to the Clinton campaign) believes that homosexuals in Hollywood are organizing against Hillary in order to exact revenge for Bill's "don't ask, don't tell" policy toward gays serving openly in the military. I'm sure a lot of liberal Hollywood homos are really upset about being excluded from serving (as targets for anyone with a gun or a bomb) in Iraq! The editors at the Washington Post obviously haven't the slightest sense of shame at continuing to publish this discredited traitor's idiocy.
Sunday, February 11, 2007
Where Do We Keep Getting Them?
Princeton, MN; Nathan Pullonese steadies his son Max while the eight-year-old fires a fully automatic machine gun at the Minnesota Machine Gunners Association Spring Machine Gun Shoot. More than one-hundred gun enthusiasts attend the semi-annual event. Dealers display both historic and modern weaponry, which attendees are free to test drive. Kids less intrepid than Max can take tank rides.
Friday, February 9, 2007
Decemberists
I really don't intend this blog to become a music video compilation . . . but indulge me. I'm on a kick. Besides, I'm the Vice-President and they're not.
Thursday, February 8, 2007
Thirty Percenters, A Definition?
The Thirty Percenter is one who continues to believe in the Presidents policy and strategy in Iraq as well as the doctrine of preemption in general. They have a deep but naive faith in the basic goodness of the commander in chief [unless he wants to let the gays in]. They see military force as the primary tool for foreign policy. They believe the UN is not legitimate. Diplomacy is only possible under preconditions favorable to the United States. They even believe that preemptive nuclear war may be justifiable! And, sometimes they call themselves Christians! If we survive, history will look back on this period and refer them as the hardcore lunatic fringe. Unfortunately, their leader has his finger on the button!
Tuesday, February 6, 2007
Cockpit Video From A-10 Attacking British Convoy
The dramatic tension in this video (as well as the tragic outcome) just blows me away. Musta really sucked for them.
Soldiers Worry About Faltering US Support For War in Iraq
There's an NBC video out (featured on liveleak.com) - in which three soldiers from Apache Company are briefly interviewed about their concerns regarding American opinion toward the war. They all express essentially the same sentiments;
What I cant stand are people who say they support the troops but not the war. If you support us, support us all the way. If you don't support the mission we are over here fighting and dying for then we have died in vain.
I have to say, I sympathize with them. It is especially gut wrenching if we attempt to define the mission for which they have been and are dying. The mission, of course, has changed rather dramatically over the course of the last four years. I would say the first thousand or so US fatalities died in a mission to rid Iraq of WMDs and to remove a key ally of Al Qaeda. Nobody supports that mission anymore. The second thousand died in a mission to bring a western style, secular, free market democracy to life in the heart of the Middle East. Not even Bush or Cheney still pretend that is a possibility. Now what is our mission: Prevent Iraq from being divided up between Iran and Syria? Wipe out Sunni insurgents in Al Anbar? Fight the Terrorists over there so we don't have to fight them here?
That's why we don't ask the military anything about their mission (except maybe whether they think their orders are legal or not). The soldiers should know that their mission is to follow the lawful orders of the civilian representatives of the citizens of the US. If their orders are to come home now, that is their mission. I would support that mission all the way. At least none of them would die in vain executing it.
What I cant stand are people who say they support the troops but not the war. If you support us, support us all the way. If you don't support the mission we are over here fighting and dying for then we have died in vain.
I have to say, I sympathize with them. It is especially gut wrenching if we attempt to define the mission for which they have been and are dying. The mission, of course, has changed rather dramatically over the course of the last four years. I would say the first thousand or so US fatalities died in a mission to rid Iraq of WMDs and to remove a key ally of Al Qaeda. Nobody supports that mission anymore. The second thousand died in a mission to bring a western style, secular, free market democracy to life in the heart of the Middle East. Not even Bush or Cheney still pretend that is a possibility. Now what is our mission: Prevent Iraq from being divided up between Iran and Syria? Wipe out Sunni insurgents in Al Anbar? Fight the Terrorists over there so we don't have to fight them here?
That's why we don't ask the military anything about their mission (except maybe whether they think their orders are legal or not). The soldiers should know that their mission is to follow the lawful orders of the civilian representatives of the citizens of the US. If their orders are to come home now, that is their mission. I would support that mission all the way. At least none of them would die in vain executing it.
Sunday, February 4, 2007
Thirty Percenters
Lately I've noticed this term being used to refer to those who still support the Cheney administration's policies toward Iraq. I think this is fabulous. It really captures something about their absolute conviction of their correctness. It also points out that no matter what nonsense they choose to babble, they will now be required to step aside for a few decades while the adults clean up their mess.
Now That's Analysis!
Here's a quote from the declassified version of the National Intelligence Estimate. No wonder those guys make the big bucks!
"Unless efforts to reverse these conditions show measurable progress ... in the coming 12 to 18 months, we assess that the overall security situation will continue to deteriorate,"
I feel much safer knowing we have such "darn good intelligence".
"Unless efforts to reverse these conditions show measurable progress ... in the coming 12 to 18 months, we assess that the overall security situation will continue to deteriorate,"
I feel much safer knowing we have such "darn good intelligence".
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Obama Channeling Bill?
In Ruth Marcus's column, today, she compares Bill Clinton with Barrack Obama and contrasts them thusly;
It's hard to name a prominent moment when, like Clinton pushing welfare reform, he (Obama) deviated from party orthodoxy. Sorry, senator, but voting for class action lawsuit reform doesn't cut it. Obama's book features an erudite discussion of the folly, and futility, of resisting globalization -- at which point he summarily announces that he voted against the Central American Free Trade Agreement nonetheless. His signature divergence from the other leading candidates in the Democratic field comes from the left: He opposed the Iraq war from the start.
Ms Marcus, like many others, attempts to define the Iraq war issue as a matter of being Left or Right. She deliberately confuses the process of Democracy with the process of Free Market Capitalism. The only way in which this war has had anything to with economic policy was when the "post-war" occupation and "reconstruction" was executed by people selected solely on the basis of right wing ideological purity. Their attempts to revolutionize the Iraqi economic system to an utopian free market capitalist model proved disastrous for the Iraqi people and laid bare the greed and corruption at the heart of the neocon agenda. But it says nothing about those who opposed the war or have since come to oppose it.
Self-described "Paleo-cons" from the Goldwater era, led by Pat Buchannon, strongly opposed the invasion of Iraq. Would Ruth have us believe these folks are a bunch of pinkos and libtards?
It's hard to name a prominent moment when, like Clinton pushing welfare reform, he (Obama) deviated from party orthodoxy. Sorry, senator, but voting for class action lawsuit reform doesn't cut it. Obama's book features an erudite discussion of the folly, and futility, of resisting globalization -- at which point he summarily announces that he voted against the Central American Free Trade Agreement nonetheless. His signature divergence from the other leading candidates in the Democratic field comes from the left: He opposed the Iraq war from the start.
Ms Marcus, like many others, attempts to define the Iraq war issue as a matter of being Left or Right. She deliberately confuses the process of Democracy with the process of Free Market Capitalism. The only way in which this war has had anything to with economic policy was when the "post-war" occupation and "reconstruction" was executed by people selected solely on the basis of right wing ideological purity. Their attempts to revolutionize the Iraqi economic system to an utopian free market capitalist model proved disastrous for the Iraqi people and laid bare the greed and corruption at the heart of the neocon agenda. But it says nothing about those who opposed the war or have since come to oppose it.
Self-described "Paleo-cons" from the Goldwater era, led by Pat Buchannon, strongly opposed the invasion of Iraq. Would Ruth have us believe these folks are a bunch of pinkos and libtards?
John Yoo Says "...Every War Since WWII Has Been Illegal"
John Yoo, current law professor at UC Berkley, author of the famous 2002 torture memo and former Bush administration lawyer, has been cited recently as saying "People think that congress has to say OK to everything. But if that were true, that means every war we've fought since WWII has been illegal." (Well, Duh!) He elaborates that Bush's request for a congressional authorization for the use of force in '02 was purely political. It passed overwhelmingly but was not considered a declaration of war. The resolution was only seen as a way to bring democrats on board. (oh, thank you so much for allowing half the country the opportunity to either oppose the terrorists or support Saddam!)
In other words, they don't believe that there is any necessity, except in the political sense, to seek approval from congress for military action.
If you liked Iraq, You'll love Iran!
In other words, they don't believe that there is any necessity, except in the political sense, to seek approval from congress for military action.
If you liked Iraq, You'll love Iran!
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Lugar - Just Another Dick
Sen Richard Lugar's Op-Ed in the Washington Post this morning reveals the true depth of the cynicism of the republican party. Faced with ownership of a failed war and chaotic state of affairs in Iraq he and his party have decided to try honesty. They honestly see this thing as a game in which we find ourselves in a tough spot. They acknowledge that securing access to oil and confronting Iran are their primary objectives. They "admit" that if this plan doesn't work, we may have to punt.
Sen Lugar as well as Sens Coleman, Warner, Smith, Snowe etc. had better wake up and get a clue about what they are saying to the American public. It boils down to this; The interests of Big Oil and Military contractors are worth mortgaging the future of our country and the deaths of thousands more of your children. And if it doesn't work, well it's just a game, right?
Sen Lugar as well as Sens Coleman, Warner, Smith, Snowe etc. had better wake up and get a clue about what they are saying to the American public. It boils down to this; The interests of Big Oil and Military contractors are worth mortgaging the future of our country and the deaths of thousands more of your children. And if it doesn't work, well it's just a game, right?
Sunday, January 28, 2007
Sunday, January 21, 2007
Democratic Think Tanks
The democratic think tank you are referring to wouldnt happen to be the ISG, would it? The only truly bi-partisan proposal on how to deal with the real disaster for Americas Middle East policy was rejected by Bush in favor of more neocon mischief. Who is playing partisan politics with our national security? James Baker III? Chuck Hegel? Olympia Snowe? Gordon Smith? Dick Lugar? And Maliki is unfit because he is ninety percent Shia? I would venture to say he is one hundred percent Shia. What did you expect when you brought down a secular nationalist government and delivered it into the hands of the long oppressed Shiite Islamic Fundamentalists. Mr Broder should be ashamed that even at this late date he refuses to acknowledge the fundamental errors in waging this preemptive war for regime change in Iraq.
Jeb in '08?
Are you fucking kidding me? SV Date's column in today's Washington Post is a perverted fantasy about both what might have been if it had been Jeb instead of George in 2000 and how great a candidate he would make in '08 or 2012.
*Jeb Bush will turn 54 next month. He has plenty of time. Given his personality and his sense of mission -- not to mention that his father and brother have already succeeded at this -- it seems impossible that Jeb would not run for president. Whether in two or six or 10 years, the United States will face the prospect of yet another Bush in the White House. Americans will then quickly learn what we in Florida already know: This Bush not only combines his father's interest in governing and his brother's permanent campaign but also brings a relentlessness to impose his will that seems entirely his own.*
Yeah, that's exactly what America needs; a permanent campaign, a president who relentlessly imposes his will and HWBush's interest in governing! Though the attention span of Americans could be challenged by a common house fly, the results of the presidencies of both Bush 41 and 43 will remind us for decades if not centuries to come to heed the advice of Jesse Jackson at the 2000 Democratic Convention, *America, keep out of the Bushes!*. If Mr. Date wants to compare dynasties, I would ask who does he think Americans would vote for in a match up between Bill Clinton and GW? I dont really care for Hillary but she would mop the country with Jeb.
*Jeb Bush will turn 54 next month. He has plenty of time. Given his personality and his sense of mission -- not to mention that his father and brother have already succeeded at this -- it seems impossible that Jeb would not run for president. Whether in two or six or 10 years, the United States will face the prospect of yet another Bush in the White House. Americans will then quickly learn what we in Florida already know: This Bush not only combines his father's interest in governing and his brother's permanent campaign but also brings a relentlessness to impose his will that seems entirely his own.*
Yeah, that's exactly what America needs; a permanent campaign, a president who relentlessly imposes his will and HWBush's interest in governing! Though the attention span of Americans could be challenged by a common house fly, the results of the presidencies of both Bush 41 and 43 will remind us for decades if not centuries to come to heed the advice of Jesse Jackson at the 2000 Democratic Convention, *America, keep out of the Bushes!*. If Mr. Date wants to compare dynasties, I would ask who does he think Americans would vote for in a match up between Bill Clinton and GW? I dont really care for Hillary but she would mop the country with Jeb.
Saturday, January 20, 2007
Anti-Capitalist Forum Opens In Kenya?
The World Social Forum will be a chance to showcase "Africa and her unbroken history of struggle against foreign domination, colonialism and neocolonialism," according to a statement on the event Web site.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070120/ap_on_re_af/world_social_forum
Interesting that AP considers "...struggle against foreign domination, colonialism and neo-colonialism." to be anti-capitalistic. Does that mean they consider foreign domination, colonialism and neo-colonialism to be capitalist?
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070120/ap_on_re_af/world_social_forum
Interesting that AP considers "...struggle against foreign domination, colonialism and neo-colonialism." to be anti-capitalistic. Does that mean they consider foreign domination, colonialism and neo-colonialism to be capitalist?
Should I be shocked?
Reading responses to Kimberly Strossel's column, Unbowed, at www.opinionjournal.com/editorial/feature.html?id=110009556 this morning was a sobering experience. Is it possible that the readers of the WSJ are still one-hundred percent behind Joe Lieberman and President Bush? It's almost perverted the way the republicans fawn over Joe. Why then does he cling the the "Independent Democrat" label? Please, Senator, if you choose to bathe in the blood of innocent people with the neocons, at least have the decency to call yourself a republican.
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